I don't know how to look at you now. Should i use the same pair of eyes and the same mentality when i look at you now? Or with that eyes that were so caring and strong and believes in everything the owner does? Or with the eyes when you were that close together?
Was it me that changed you so much? To become like this? Or did you just changed just like everyone else does?
I told myself, it's over, stop thinking about it anymore. But now that i heard this from others, how can i not react? My brain is telling me to just walk away and not care because it has nothing to do with me, but why is my hear in sharp pain? I don't know where this sharp pain is coming from. I don't know why i feel this way too. And now that i know, how can i pretend not to know about it at all?
Maybe i just deserve all these. It was all the wrong moves that i take.
Where is the cheerful me?
Where is the 'optimistic about everything on earth' me?
Where is the guy that never seem to be tired?
Where is the guy that never say die?
I guess it was all shattered when we're over it. Things just happen without us knowing and the change can be so FUCKED UP that you are not used to it. Yes, life do change, but why all on me? I'm doing so much things that i don't have to do.
I'm lacking sleep that i could have gotten.
I'm not doing homework that i could have done.
I'm suffering from stress that i don't need.
I'm thinking of you when i don't have to.
Why? Why must i learn of this new event now? Why? Can someone tell me why? Is it to make me suffer? I don't want all these. I just want to lead a decent life. I don't need all these. I hate this life I'm leading. I just wanna die. Please, just leave me alone.
~LoN3Ly M3~
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