My problems are finally pushing me to the limit. For the first time in my life. I am finally breaking down. Maybe you know me as the cheerful and funny and lame yu hung but time have change. I am no longer that me.
I feel so hollow. So like a walking zombie. So like a empty shell.
Problems are building up. I don't know how to handle now. I just feel like crying. I just feel like breaking down. I just feel like not caring for anything anymore.
For 17 years, I did not cry for any problems that i have encountered, coz i noe that everything will work out eventually. But now, i am crying in front of my computer, while typing this. I can no longer see the keys i am pressing now. I can no longer see clearly the screen. I can no longer see my life as a wonderful one.
Breaking down. Maybe that sounds stupid to you. But what do you know. I'm breaking down. I want to run away from all these problems. But they just wont leave me. What can i do? It is not just my problems that is troubling me. I have so much more problem. Other people's problem. I don't know what deep shit i got into this time. Maybe sleeping will help me feel so much better. But the problems are haunting me, prohibiting me from sleeping.
Who to help me? Who to pity me? Who to care for me? Who to save me?
Maybe it will all come down to myself again. All i have with me is me, me, me and more problems.
It hurts so much. It seriously does hurt. I am trying to be strong, but my heart seem to be bleeding... and it's really badly....and it just got worse. No one to heal my soul, no one to stitch my heart, no one to lessen my pain, no one for me to lean on.
Maybe i am born loner. Maybe i am not even meant to be here. Maybe my existence is absurd. Maybe i am... i am... i am......
There is just so much possibility to that. I don't really want to think about it anymore. My head is splitting. And i mean it. It is really splitting. I just don't want to think about it now. Just don't want to face it...
~SuP3R UnHaPpY M3~
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